The Digital Shadows: Love, Lies, and Longing (Part 7)

The Price of Toxic Love:

As time passed, her guilt for hiding her past continued to eat her up. She believed she deserved the way he treated her, convinced that the pain she felt was a consequence of her mistakes. She thought her lie about her first love was the worst thing she could have done to him, and for that, she accepted every insult, every slap, and every humiliation he threw at her. In her mind, she had no right to complain—she believed it was her fault.

When he moved to another city for his studies, she hoped that distance would help heal their relationship. She gave him a diary, pouring all her feelings and love into it, wishing him success in his studies and hoping that the change of environment would make him a better person. But it only made things worse. His doubts and insecurities grew, and he forced her to drop out of college, asking for her Transfer Certificate so she could stay home, promising his love in return. She didn’t give in to that demand, but every day felt like hell.

She risked her future to meet him, lying to her hostel warden, even going so far as to get someone to pretend to be her mother on the phone just to get permission. Her heart was pounding with anticipation, thinking that this meeting might fix everything. But the moment they met, it spiraled into the same routine—sex, followed by a fight. He slapped her so hard for hiding her past from him and also asking about her college guys, her mouth bled, leaving her with bruises, but he justified his actions by claiming it was because he cared about her safety. He said she was too innocent, that someone would take advantage of her, and he had to protect her from that.

After the slap, he offered her beer, and she drank it, crying quietly, as the alcohol made her forget, at least for the moment. They went to a party and returned back at 5 pm. He introduces his new friend to her who was staying on the 11th floor of the apartment. his friend smoked weed. He offered the weed to Aaric. He acted like he had never tried it before, but she knew it was a lie. He offered the weed to her, pushing her to try it. She hesitated at first, but the mixture of sorrow, guilt, and exhaustion led her to take a puff. For the first time, she tried weed, unable to grasp how her life had taken such a sharp turn from her once-simple dreams. She remembered how, months ago, he had given her a cigarette just to try, and now, here she was, smoking weed, drinking, and feeling utterly lost.

Despite all this, he was still the same. He didn’t want her talking to any other man—not her uncle, her cousins, classmates, or even male friends. But he had no problem introducing her to his new male friends, smoking with them, and having her sit in on their conversations. He never saw the hypocrisy in his actions, and she had stopped trying to understand it. 

On the same night, again they had a heated argument, and he almost hit her with a plate. They were staying on the 4th floor, and as the fight escalated, she could feel her heart racing with fear. He yelled at her, accused her of having other men in her life, and she just walked out of the apartment in the middle of the night. He found her and dragged her back to the room, but the fights didn’t stop. She slept with the tearful eyes.

Next day morning, when it was time for her to go back to college, the arguments reached a boiling point. He accused her of wanting a new boyfriend when she returned to her hostel. He threw her bag on the floor and raised his hand to hit her again. In desperation, she knocked on a neighbor’s door, asking for help. The neighbor tried to intervene, but he pulled her away, dragging her back into the room and continuing to scream at her. She prayed silently, begging for some way out of the nightmare.

After all these arguments, he went to 11th floor to meet his friend, and he smoked weed and returned back to her. Then he started to act like apologizing and begged her to stay another day with him. But she lied that she has a project presentation in college, so she needs to go to her college.

She eventually left, taking a bus back to her hostel, her heart heavy with sorrow and regret. She had expected happiness, love, and sweet memories from this trip, but instead, she was returning with a broken spirit, bruises, and the weight of shame. She was now a shell of her former self.

Back at college, she decided to take a stand for herself. She had tolerated his beatings, blackmail, and emotional abuse long enough. He had threatened to send their private photos to her sister countless times, and now she was ready to turn the tables. She demanded that he unfollow all the girls on Instagram, just like he had made her do. When he refused, she blackmailed him with the same threats—she would send their private photos to his female followers. For the first time, she felt some power over him.

In a moment of pure rage, she created a new Instagram account and sent their private videos to his female friends. She didn’t feel any guilt. After all, she had endured so much pain because of him. When he found out, he begged her to delete the messages, and she replied, "Only after you unfollowed the girls, I'll delete all those videos from their chat". But the damage was done. She had become a version of herself she didn’t recognize—a toxic, angry person who mirrored his abuse.

Three days later, she saw that he had refollowed some girls, and the cycle started again. The insecurities she had buried deep inside resurfaced. She felt trapped in a never-ending battle of mistrust and manipulation, fighting with him every day, using foul language, and acting like the person she never wanted to be.

She had lost herself completely, forgetting what self-respect and love truly meant. The only reason she stayed was because she couldn’t imagine being without him. She had lost her virginity to him, and in her mind, that meant they were bound together. Every time he came back with apologies and promises to change, she forgave him, hoping things would be different. But deep down, she knew that the old version of herself—the girl who once believed in love and happiness—was gone forever.

 Moral:  

No amount of love or guilt can justify staying in an abusive relationship. Forgiving someone who continually hurts you only allows the pain to deepen, and losing yourself for another person is never worth the sacrifice. True love respects, trusts, and uplifts, while toxic love only tears you down. Standing up for oneself is the first step to reclaiming dignity and self-worth.